Zelos Wilder (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
luxuriant) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
confectionaries2013-05-03 09:31 pm
luxuriant) wrote in confectionaries2013-05-03 09:31 pm
gently posts
[The meeting with the Project Head had turned so quickly wrong. Zelos only wishes he could say he was surprised. He wasn't. All of his bad decisions thrown out and broadcast across the entire ship via the network. Meetings he never knew had been recorded, but hadn't exactly ruled out the possibility... Information shared that he had been so reluctant to give away but still came across quite blunt in text form.
Everything. And yet... not everything. No signs of his motives, no recorded meetings of the Project Head showing him pictures of his sister supposedly safe and sound in some place without him. There was just him as the villain.
Not only did he have that to deal with, but the physical fight between himself and the Head had gone over equally well. That is to say not well at all. No amount of angel skills (which he noticed were a lot more tiring here than normal) or magic or melee could take care of the guy. Made out of water... He was tricky too. Smart.
And Zelos had been forced to visit the clinic afterwards to deal with his own wounds as best as he could. With the message out for all to see, he hardly felt it was necessary to message Jack. ...Maybe Jack was upset after all. Or didn't realize the extent... He knows he got an earful of Sheena earlier, and that was enough to twist his hope into something a little more bitter.
He was just going to finish cleaning off the blood and go find somewhere to sit and think, maybe. Somewhere away from people so he doesn't have to sit through another speech of how could you where he can't defend himself. Where he doesn't want to.]
I really messed up, huh... [Quietly, he mumbles this to himself, pausing from what he's doing to rest his hands on the counter and stare down at it. He's such a mess, really.]
Everything. And yet... not everything. No signs of his motives, no recorded meetings of the Project Head showing him pictures of his sister supposedly safe and sound in some place without him. There was just him as the villain.
Not only did he have that to deal with, but the physical fight between himself and the Head had gone over equally well. That is to say not well at all. No amount of angel skills (which he noticed were a lot more tiring here than normal) or magic or melee could take care of the guy. Made out of water... He was tricky too. Smart.
And Zelos had been forced to visit the clinic afterwards to deal with his own wounds as best as he could. With the message out for all to see, he hardly felt it was necessary to message Jack. ...Maybe Jack was upset after all. Or didn't realize the extent... He knows he got an earful of Sheena earlier, and that was enough to twist his hope into something a little more bitter.
He was just going to finish cleaning off the blood and go find somewhere to sit and think, maybe. Somewhere away from people so he doesn't have to sit through another speech of how could you where he can't defend himself. Where he doesn't want to.]
I really messed up, huh... [Quietly, he mumbles this to himself, pausing from what he's doing to rest his hands on the counter and stare down at it. He's such a mess, really.]
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[Well, except--it could have, actually. And that's a thought to hold to, at the very least. Gotta be thankful for the little things first, or the rest just gets too overwhelming to deal with.]
[Everything's in more of an aftermath here, now--everything's finally started to calm down a bit, and it couldn't have been sooner. A whole post, open to the whole network, dedicated to the kinds of records even a not-so-technically-inclined Jack couldn't hope to ignore; that had been bad enough, all by itself, and the thought of it still rings up something scrunched-up and seething--a sort of anger that would have been bad enough to call for a relegation to the Poles, any other time (and any other place). But they're on a ship, and there are no Poles to retreat to here, and so the only other option is to keep that particular bit of fury under careful wraps, tucked down....]
[It'd been a close thing. Because to think, that watery bastard would have the nerve--]
[It's pretty damaging stuff, but Jack's been trying to help get things on the mend where he can. For the first few hours that Zelos is in the clinic, Jack is mingled in the resistance, and all the harried discussions going on there, raising his voice where it could be considered (or even heard at all, in some cases...); the guilty bite of not telling anyone about what he'd learned of Zelos's intentions sooner had still been there, of course, but it hadn't been something that Jack regretted even then. And he argues for the guy as well as he's able. Got into a fight with the guy, didn't he? Came back with the hits to prove it, didn't he? There's this thing called a reverse mole, people liked to use those a lot during wars... He wouldn't have been so arrogant to say that he had any particular strong standing in the resistance, but well. There were other people that did, like the Doctor--and now the judgment was pending.]
[But he'd done his best, and in the end, that's all that probably matters.]
[Not that the wait is any easier to deal with, though--and really, Jack isn't even particularly surprised at himself, when he slips into the clinic later in the day of his own volition. Whether he's supposed to be here or not--probably not--but he's more than used to sneaking into places he's not supposed to, and it's even easier on this ship, filled with people that see him and (invariably) more people that don't.]
[The eyes he does run across don't follow him as he goes, and getting to Zelos's general quarters is probably more easy than it has any right to be.]
[The bed's vacant, when he gets there, but the small washroom-esque area with the counter is occupied. Jack pauses at this doorway, at the very least--one thing to sneak into places unallowed, but another thing to actively infringe on a specific person's privacy, at least initially. So he leans a bit on the frame, staff planted on the floor beside him with the crook tilted against the side of his head, and just frowns at the guy further in the room. Most of the blood washed off, at least, but still...geez...]
...Well, you came back, at least.
[It's a wry remark, at length, if not without a slightly tired edge; he looks tired too.]
[Because really, talk about a long day for everyone.]
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Like all other thoughts like this, though, it's pushed aside, and he straightens himself a bit as Jack finally ends up behind him in the doorway, speaking to him.]
Heh... I can't say too many people are happy about that right now. [Letting his hands slip away from the counter, he turns to lean against it instead, giving Jack a look-over. He sounded tired, but the look of him only assures that he must be. Zelos wants to know so much already. What he thought of all of that, if his opinion of him changed or what was going on with the resistance, anything and everything-- but that's pretty selfish isn't it? Especially when he's caused all this.
But the casual joking of his voice was so out of place.]
But, I said I would, so... Here I am. [A weak gesture of his arms that's normally much grander, but is it his fault he's really not feeling up to the whole thing? Besides, he's sure going all out on the joking side would just be insulting at this point to Jack. So he drops them back and tilts his head a bit, watching the other.
He's here. He's not sure why... He can't figure out why, exactly.]
I must look really uncool right about now.
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[No, though it's certainly there, that's not the most pressing worry on Jack's mind. After all, with a guy like Zelos, it always seems to be less about the physical injuries but more about the...what, the emotional ones? Maybe.]
[Seeing all that on the network following an encounter like that, it must have been rough, and that wasn't even starting on the resistance's reaction to the whole thing--]
[And maybe it's unnecessary, and maybe Zelos probably doesn't want that kind of concern, but Jack's got it anyway. So, even mildly weary as he looks, he's still watching Zelos just as steadily as the latter watches him--until that last line, anyway, at which point Jack's slight frown finally breaks down, corners turning up into an almost exasperated smile.]
Oh, yeah, you look super uncool right about now. Take my word for it, I'm judging you and your uncoolness like you've never been judged before.
[A bit mildly joking by his own right--a sort of indirect way to let Zelos knows it's alright to set in a little humor, because he can sort of see the way the latter's curtailing it. (And he doesn't need to, shouldn't have to, [a little bit of humor always helps the bad day go down easier...]) Jack pushes himself upright from his lean against the doorway with something between a sigh and a slight laugh, trails a few steps into the room, the usual chill following him in.]
[And when he looks back up he's shaking his head slightly, but the slight wry smile is still in place.]
No, but seriously though--pretty sure you've already filled up your coolness quota for the day. I mean, man...you told me you were going to talk to the Project Head, not have a throw-down with him.
[Jack stops his idle forward pacing, then, with a few feet to spare between the both of them, eyes flicking over the various wounds in varied states of repair. And though the very mild humor is still lined in his tone, there's something in the arch of his eyebrows that lends itself to something a bit more serious.]
[Not necessarily scolding (because Zelos has probably already had more than enough of that), but...]
If you'd actually told me that, I don't think I'd have ever let you go off by yourself after all.
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At his own thoughts, he places his hands on his hips and leans forward a bit, leveling his gaze with Jack and lessening the distance between them all the same.]
That's why I didn't say anything specific.
[And just like that, he's pulling himself up to stand up straight again, but stepping away from the counter just a bit.]
I figured it would end with something like that. ...I just didn't realize how much he'd limited my crystal. [In clarification, there's a small gesture of his left hand raising to pass over the gem on his chest, hovering there just a moment before he drops it and shakes his head with a sigh.
But he can't keep that somber face up for too long, now can he? And so that familiar smirk settles back into place as he reaches out to bring his hand to the side of Jack's face. A small pat.]
If you keep looking worried like that, I might cry. [The joking tone of his voice is practically overflowing in that sentence-- aiming for a reaction for sure, but the touch was a little bit more than that, and it lingers for a second more before he drops his hand and pockets both of them, silently reprimanding himself for it.]
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[Definitely an easy choice.]
['That's why I didn't say anything specific' gets a quirk in arched eyebrows; amused enough, with a side of chagrin maybe tucked somewhere in there too.]
Already know me too well, I see. [Not horribly surprising, but even despite the miffed tone that he uses...it's simultaneously odd and a bit refreshing, in a way.]
[Zelos's reference to his crystal does manage to duly draw his attention, though, eyes settling on the now-pretty-familiar gem when Zelos's hand hovers over his chest after the words. Jack had still always been wondering about that, ever since that fight way back on his second week on board...]
Limited it, huh? So it's kind of like a source for your power? I don't think you ever--
[--Cut short, with a tapering off and a blink, as Zelos slips a smirk back on and...oh. That's a warm palm on the side of his face, with a small pat to accompany it as if it's the most typical gesture in the world...]
[And maybe it is, for someone like Zelos. Guy's pretty touchy by default anyway, isn't he? Honestly, he ought to be getting used to this by now...but no, it's still strange and a bit startling to be on the receiving end of anyway, because it seems a bit as if the touch is lasting slightly longer than ought to have been jokingly necessary, and...besides, now there's a bit more context anyway--maybe--(you can't exactly forget a kiss a little over a day after the fact, even if you don't have a memory that happens to be as good as Jack's anyway)--]
[But altogether, even after Zelos drops his hand, there's still a repeat instance of that same faintly lilac flush from before, coloring cheeks so slightly it's barely visible--and attempted to be fought down very promptly (can you even suppress something like--coloring up? he certainly hasn't dealt with it often enough to have any idea, and it's not like he'd ever had an audience the few times before), with a slightly sideways jerk of his head and a distinctly huffier frown on Jack's own part, at that last remark.]
[Cruxis crystal thus quite forgotten for the temporary:]
I'm not looking worried. This isn't my worried face. [Wow that didn't even...make any sense OH WELL] And you breaking out in waterworks would be a terrible idea anyway, y'know, I don't exactly have any tissues on me...
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But there's still everything else below this shallow enjoying of the moment as it is. Guilt, for one. About all of this. Jack looking so tired, and dealing with all of this, and essentially being dragged into it one way or another. The kiss, still, and what might be leftover as far as thoughts go... Getting his trust. Being the first one to see him (on the ship, at least).
None of this seems fair. He feels like he doesn't deserve it, and after all of this building up, and being gifted, it seems like, with both trust and a visit of concern? ...It makes a guy rethink his hiding away and joking everything off ways.
And so unpocketing one of his hands towards the end of his laugh, he wraps his arm around Jack loosely just for a light pat on the back, a gentle nudge to follow him to the room with the bed. It seems better for conversation than the sink, y'know?
He'd be a little generous in information. Just for Jack.]
It's called a Cruxis Crystal. [It seems out of nowhere what with how the conversation had changed, but as Zelos plops back easily into a sitting position on the bed, the tap at his chest makes it clear he's going back to earlier, forgotten subjects.] It's a symbol of the Chosen One.
[And there it is. He's opening it up quite clearly there, isn't he?]
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hopesthe laughter is directed)--but before he can get a word in edgewise, Zelos is already wrapping a loose arm around him, and nudging him towards the adjacent room.][And that's just surprising enough to render him quiet for a little longer, and following Zelos over, because well, it would beat out just standing around at the sink. He might have had to alight on top of the counter after a little while, if that had been the case--Jack really just can't stay in one place, ground-bound, for too long. Gotta keep some motion going, gotta keep some air under his heels, because it's something he knows is familiar and certain, even during uncertain occasions like this one...(and there's never ever a risk of falling through something, if you're already halfway in the air--)]
[Which is probably why, while Zelos settles on the bed like a normal and reasonable person, Jack opts for something else instead; it's an easy, almost absent-minded leap that stirs up a bit of cool air, and he's standing on top of the edge of the footboard, sinking down into a crouching perch with his staff propped over a shoulder as he blinks in surprise at Zelos's next words.]
[He had forgotten about the crystal, for a bit there--but half the surprise is also because Zelos had decided to bring it up at all anyway...]
[The same way he'd never brought up that very last bit: a term that rings familiar, for all its completely vague connotations. And he stares at Zelos from his perch, in the small moment of silence that follows the latter's words.]
...Chosen One, huh? I remember--Sheena mentioned that, back when she first came here. Like a title.
[He folds his arms over his knees, balanced perfectly on the thin rail, and the rather intent curiosity's pretty much impossible to hide, for all that Jack would rather it weren't quite as obvious.]
Sounds pretty...important.
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[The groan is exceptionally whiny, joking surely, but there's the seriousness behind it as well. He had thought he had escaped hearing that. Lloyd never called him that. It didn't mean anything here... He crosses one leg over the other loosely, placing his palms on the bed behind him as he leans back.]
It's how I'm second in power to the King. "The Chosen of Tethe'alla" or "The Chosen of Mana" or whatever you want to call it... It's a symbol of the church. They go on thinking I'm some great descendant of angels, powerful and rich and responsible for keeping the peace and making sure the world isn't destroyed...
[He trails off, even if his emotions are shining through a lot more than normally here. It sounds more like venting than just simple information sharing.] ...It's kind of a long story. The point is, I never wanted this. My sister would have been better. But with her in that abbey--
[He cuts himself off, because wow, he's getting carried away here. Too much at once, isn't it? Why is he just spilling everything! Ahhh he feels... more like a kid than he has in a long while. It's just embarrassing, and the frustration shows on his face briefly before he shakes his head.]
Well... I guess that's just how things are. [Rather than attempt to twist through the rest of that story and finally get back to his powers, he decides the easiest way may be to show it. Sort of.
It's not something he'd ever thought he'd do by choice outside of battle. He hates them, hates everything about it, feels only guilt, but as he rolls his head back to stare at the ceiling and think on that (and raises one hand in a half sort of shrugging gesture), there's a golden shimmer behind him, a brief shine on his chest, and the wings form slowly until they're fully visible.]
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[And it's that, more than anything else, that has Jack quiet throughout as Zelos speaks, chin slowly settling into the palm of his free hand as something of a story unfurls partway. The concept in itself isn't an unfamiliar notion at all--he's familiar with the church (a church, some church, there's a lot of churches in the world and some of them are more fervent than others), the kind of power those sorts of things could end up having over people.]
[The power of belief can be a pretty incredible thing, after all.]
[But this, though...was he expecting something like this? It's still surprising, yes, but not as much as it maybe ought to be--because, as Jack realizes, there'd really been plenty of hints dropped along the way already, intentional or not on Zelos's part. He'd mentioned being famous where he came from, being in command of some measure of responsibility--both in such flamboyant ways that it'd been difficult to really take them seriously...and maybe that was the point, as the idea realizes now. Frame the truth in such a way that it'd be hard to believe anyway, and you're not exactly lying--]
[And that's a very interesting realization in its own right, but Jack still shifts it to the backburner as soon as it forms anyway. Something to consider later, for certain, but...even besides that, there's another pretty important thing being opened up here.]
[Because Zelos's emotions are certainly shining through moreso than normal, and none of them seem at all happy with the arrangements he goes on to describe.]
[Unhappiness...]
[Zelos mentions a sister, and something in Jack's demeanor shifts in a way it hadn't since the beginning of Zelos's story. A slight lean forward, one leg dropping a foot down to the mattress, staff pulling closer, the oddest expression fleeting across features (something between startled and sympathetic and piqued on some base level that goes beyond interest and right into a habit almost too old and worn to remember). But then Zelos stops speaking, and a silence falls, and Jack pulls back somewhat more upright, trying to figure out what to possibly say...when the beginnings of a glimmer catches the corner of his eye, and keeps him quiet just long enough to stare with renewed astonishment as the iridescent wings slowly seep into being.]
[...Well then.]
[At length Jack finds himself rising back to his feet, standing upright on the rail again, as if the higher vantage might somehow tweak the sight in some way. ...It doesn't, and a free hand goes up to card through his hair as he exhales a bit, finding himself unable to really stop staring.]
...Angels. Huh? [The word's breathed out at length, no less bemused than his expression is at the moment. He blinks, shakes his head, hand falling back to his side.] Man, that's...y'know, in my world, nobody'd ever met one before. Myths even among myths, it was kinda funny...
[His eyes move from the wings, at length, to meet directly with Zelos's instead.]
Guess it's really not all it's cracked up to be at all, huh? But then, it never really is...ending up with something like that...
[And he turns away to slip easily off the rail and back onto the floor, the thump barely audible at all. (Because keeping eye-contact while saying that, it's still...pretty difficult--)]
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It's not what anyone thinks it is. Angels... Or the whole Chosen system, or the church, even the world. [That's a little dark, he knows, and he lets it sit in the air for a moment because of that. Of course he notices that Jack turns away to move off like that. And of course he's curious, lifting himself to stand up and off the bed now as he watches the other's back.]
'It never really is'... Sounds pretty jaded, you know. [The joking is surprisingly light, but there nonetheless.]
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[He absently slips a hand in his hoodie pocket, the last remark earning a glance over his shoulder; he turns around, takes a few steps away from the end of the bed and towards Zelos as he stands up, off the bed.]
Jaded? Well, I guess...I don't know. Getting picked for anything without really getting a say in it-- [a slight shrug] --s'never that great, especially when it's something pretty important...they tell you that you got chosen because you've got something special in your heart, and--assure you it's definitely right and there totally hasn't been any mistake at all and that really, you should just roll with it--and figure it out for yourself, if you really wanna know things that bad, because Manny forbid you ever ask the guy who makes these decisions why. Get a big load of radio silence for a couple of centuries for your trouble--
[And Jack halts a couple of feet away from Zelos, then, with a short sigh and a glance sideways at nothing in particular, as he cuts that particular thought short before it can unwind itself any further. Where had he been planning to go with that? Maybe as some sort of exchange thing, for the information that Zelos had seemed so unhappy about diverging himself--for all that Jack's return is probably far too vague to be any good at all.]
[So, when he does glance back up at him, there's a slight wry smile back in place.]
Personally I like trying to keep the green glasses off, but sometimes--maybe it just comes with being an old codger or something, huh? According to some people, anyway...
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And honestly? There's a small frown as Jack begins speaking. Picked for something... If this had been another case of any sort of twisted Chosen type system, it would not be okay, and even on Zelos' face the concern is clear for a moment before he wipes it away by glancing down and rocking a bit on his feet.
Jumping to defensively ranting about how these things aren't fair at all and demanding to know what Jack's had to deal with... It's not exactly what he feels he should be doing. He was sharing his own stuff because he felt like he owed it, and then Jack's sharing stuff back? It's kind of funny. (He doesn't deserve any of this conversation...)]
I bet age doesn't help, sure, but I feel like it's something that 'comes with' these types of situations more than anything else.
[Not just age. Even Mithos had the right situation to set him off.
...Hm. But all of that aside, Zelos takes a few more steps closer to Jack, until they're closer than most would deem comfortable conversation distance. That's normal for Zelos, sure, but the suddenly serious expression on his face is something a little more rare. But he wants to know. He's selfish and curious and a little hopeful and can't he just...--
...]
Why are you here? [That comes out far too revealing of a desperate tone, wanting to hear the right answer, and he quickly adds onto it to make up for it. It's too blunt, after all.] I mean... No one's happy with me right now. If you stick around, they're probably going to start blaming you for stuff too.
[People with fear can be pretty crazy.]
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[(Not to mention how he'd apparently been the only one that'd had his memories wiped after the transition, to boot--)]
[But Zelos's reaction to that is pretty interesting all the same, in a way. Something that 'comes with' these types of situations... that's a succinct way of putting it too, in a way, and that by itself is enough to earn a curious look from Jack. With the implication that maybe their situations aren't so separate after all, if the latter can make an accurate connection like that...]
[Still, even before he can start musing over that, Zelos is already moving again, and shifting the vein of the conversation in that abrupt way he always does; approaching a bit closer than might have been normally comfortable, too (also nothing actually new), and Jack doesn't give any ground this time, tilting his head up a bit to frown at him a bit at that question.]
[He'd have to be deaf to miss that initial desperate tone, after all, for all that Zelos might try to lighten it by adding on to it.]
...You're right, nobody's exactly happy with you at the moment. You went off and pulled a reverse-mole and almost got yourself killed too--I don't think I've ever heard of anybody being able to pull that off and keep everyone happy at the same time. [a simple shrug, though Jack keeps steady eye-contact with the latter as well as he's able, and that belies the casual air] Don't really see what there is to be worried about, though. I don't think you understand just how often I've been blamed for stuff over the years...
[And here, at length, the wry smile returns.]
It's practically my calling card at this point. Definitely not enough to keep me from sticking with somebody when I know they're on the right side of things. --Especially if they're a friend.
[Even if 'friend' sounds a bit...odd now, for some reason, in this context. Maybe it's something to do with the subject matter, and maybe it's something to do with how close they're standing to each other, too--but it's the term that Jack knows best, the closest thing he's ever been able to assign for a thing like this.]
1/2 I am horrible
It's... nice. But it feels wasted on him. But he doesn't want it to go away, all the same. He hates that he doesn't know what to do about this. That he probably looks a little surprised, a little touched-- who knows what else is showing on his face, and honestly that's something of a scary thought for him.
Being open for what he owed to Jack is fine, but his emotions are a whole other story. He doesn't want to hold them back completely, of course, but having them just written across his face--...
They're standing so close. He did this he knows, but. It's not like Jack seems to mind.]
2/2 but not as horrible as zelos
Suddenly, his face seems really energetic as he bursts out with a cheerful laugh, reaching out and placing a hand on Jack's shoulder. A friendly gesture, at first, sure--]
Aw, you're going to make me blush! ♥ [He is so hideous even he knows. Blushing isn't really his thing... It's rare that he's capable of it, and anyway, his goal here is really more to see if he can make Jack turn that nice shade of pink again. Turn the situation away from things and towards things all at the same time...]
I'm pretty weak against people saying things like that. [Honesty, actually, as joking as it sounds, and there's something of a smirk as he leans down to meet his eyes. Actually, it might seem a bit familiar, right before he closes any distance remaining for a quick kiss on the lips.
Much quicker than before, at least. Mostly because he's afraid if he makes it too much longer he'll be shoved away, and that would just be hard to deal with.]
OH MY GOD WHY AM I LAUGHING SO HARD...
[And it's a surprise here, as Zelos bursts into a cheerful laugh--which is an exceptionally sharp contrast from the expression that had started across his face mere seconds earlier, an expression that had seemed pretty torn between something surprised and something touched, odd enough in itself (Zelos hardly tends to be open with them, as Jack's come to notice somewhat peripherally; notice and maybe even envy slightly, what with his own inability to get the whole hiding-emotions thing down at all yet...)]
[That's what makes the laugh so unexpected, in a way it wouldn't have been by itself. And Jack only has time to blink, because before he can formulate some snippish reply for that remark about Zelos being weak to compliments apparently ('oh, and here I was thinking you lived off them all this time', never coming to verbal fruition), there's a warm hand on his shoulder, and Zelos is leaning down to meet his eyes, and--]
[Ah--]
[It is familiar, this time, which lends itself to about two seconds' worth of mental warning that's entirely useless. That same bafflingly warm sensation of a mouth meeting his, there and gone again (much more quickly than last time), and still more than enough to send that same odd tingle from before shooting through his spine and rendering him a bit frozen in place again. But at the very least the seizing up doesn't last quite as long as it had last time, and Jack is relaxing again, shifts back on his heels only slightly and purely from reflex as he huffs a startled breath afterwards, eyes wide and blinking.]
[While, invariably, Zelos achieves his goal, what with the flush returning full force (oh for goodness's sake how do you stop this thing ugh), considerably more prominent than before--enough so, in fact, that the oddly purple tint to it is a bit more visible, doubtless a bit off from the typical pink that would have been normally expected. (His blood circulation is a bit odd, like that--)]
[But all that aside, it's all the more ridiculous because the guy's just so composed about it, really...for his part, Jack ducks his head even as his eyes flick back upwards, probably more obviously flustered than he would have preferred by a long shot, because this stupid blush really needs to get out and just--]
--Uh-- [so smooth okay no this is still ridiculous pull yourself together man--] --Okay, geez, is this gonna...start being a new habit of yours? Just outta curiosity...
LMFAO JACK.... GLFDJSGFDSGgdfkjglfdg
Well, or maybe that's just natural with this stuff.]
Ahahaha! [His laugh, at least, is more genuine than it's usually prone to being. That blush isn't just pink, it's purple (both colors which Zelos rather likes, actually, but why is he thinking about that all of a sudden?), and the way he ducks his head like that... Oh man. It's... amusing. Cute, even. Fun, too fun to be fair, and he feels a little guilty.
A little.]
Did I embarrass you? [Of course he did, he can see that, and that's exactly why he asks, releasing his shoulder and grinning far too proudly.
As for that question... Heh.]
It could be... [And a simple shrug is added as he spins around and takes a step back. Mostly to keep his own beaming at this whole thing to himself, goodness.]
AWKWARDNESS FOREVER AND EVER......
[Because thinking on it just make it more strange, makes it uncertain and still--difficult, to really wrap his head around (the whole one person thing is still quite fresh in memory), even after a day gone by to process it. Thinking about it like that still rings up the distinct feeling that there must be some kind of mistake here, some kind of--fluke, because there's no way a guy like Zelos could--could he--?]
[But thinking about it like the whole kissing gesture is just part of an elaborate sort of humor doesn't really work, either, doesn't really fit, because Zelos always seems to do do a lot of odd touchy things that make people react, but kissing...]
[He's truly terrible at this, as one of Jack's thoughts remarks wryly. Not that lack of experience is particularly new, but it's never bothered him quite this much before, because this is kind of important to figure out and--]
No, it didn't. [Lies, blatant lies, but Jack'll hold onto them anyway, because he's still got some pride left on him; he pulls his head out of its ducking, straightening so as to better be properly indignant.] It's just--doing that out of nowhere, like--
[Oh, look and him stepping away and spinning around like that. Like he hadn't been battered up enough to look as if he'd been tossed under a steam roller just hours before. Jack doesn't know whether to feel pleased or relieved or supremely irritated about that, and so all three of those blend together into an expression of their own, because he can practically feel all that beaming going on there, even when the guy has his back turned.]
And why's that? [The question's out before Jack even completely realizes it, and it's only after the words are out that he realizes just how weighty the inquiry might be after all. Pretty direct, anyway, in a way that he'd been actually trying to avoid since yesterday, in a way that has too much potential to go awry, but...well, can't take that back now. So he leaves it at that, after a moment's hesitation, swinging his staff over his shoulder and taking a step back himself as he watches Zelos a bit uncertainly.]
and purple blush :'D
[Zelos spends a few more moments with his arms in that shrug before dropping them with a quiet sigh that's barely audible. That question is blunt indeed. He's torn between just dropping the conversation and moving along, like before, but that curious part of himself is wanting to pry more. He hasn't been met with rejection yet, exactly. Why not keep seeing...?
No. He doesn't-- ah, but he does... Man he's really tired of these arguments with himself!]
You can't tell me you're that dense. [And there it is, all of a sudden. Blunt, a little harsh, and just enough of a pause before he's turning around to face him again, something of a bitter smirk on his face.
He just tilts his head, observing Jack for a bit longer before adding almost too cheerily:] I'm surprised you didn't hit me.
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[But really, all things considered, he almost wishes he was that dense, if only because--]
[Because, well...]
[And when Zelos turns around Jack's still standing where he had been before, staff still shouldered--though that said staff is fidgeting a bit, now, because the hand holding it is, turning it slightly between fingertips intimately familiar with every single whorl and gnarl in that section of wood. Something of a consoling habit--though, here, it really does little in the face of all this.]
[Jack's frame bends slightly, shifts sideways, free hand rising in a single gesture that's already half-forgotten. And that same brief expression from yesterday is probably back now, the surprised and uncertain and slightly, uniquely frightened one.]
[Because he's not that dense, not that dense at all, not after three hundred years of roaming unseen among humanity, and if there's one thing that matters to humans more than anything else, it's--]
[But--]
Nobody's ever-- [The sentence dies before it even rises properly, and Jack sighs, wayward free hand finally traveling up to fruitlessly brush his bangs out of his eyes, before he draws back upright to look at Zelos.] ...I don't remember--if I'd ever had a relationship. Before.
[There, that's the word. 'Relationship'. And 'before' as in 'before the lake' and 'before the moon', though whether Zelos would be able to pick up on that...Jack isn't sure at all. And the whole statement in itself is entirely inadequate, doesn't even begin to properly explain exactly what it is he thinks about...all of this. About Zelos being so bluntly direct about the whole prospect. About the fact that, apparently, he's confident enough in the decision (or the feeling, or--something) that kisses are already a given, at it's just...]
[He doesn't know where to start at all. But there's something a bit pained, in the way he says that, even try as Jack might to keep it tamped down.]
[How this is ever going to get across is anyone's guess, it really is.]
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You don't remember? [He's not surprised, and in fact wouldn't be surprised if Jack never had. He picked up enough on things to know he had been invisible to most for years. To know that he was chosen for this... spirit thing, possibly? But he couldn't know anything more than vague guesses like that.]
I've never had one. [It's sudden, honest, and maybe surprising to hear (or is it?), but Zelos spits it out rather easily, leaning back on his hands with a casual glance across the room. Anywhere he can focus his eyes that isn't a person.]
I mean, if we're talking about serious stuff. Feelings and attachment and not just one night flings with noblewomen who wanted something from me or who I needed favors of... [That sounds pretty bad, but it is that bad. So.]
...Hah, I can't believe I'm talking about this. [Raising one of his hands, he sits up straight again and presses the palm of his hand to his face, lowering his head a bit.] Look, I'm not-- I didn't mean to--
[HOW DOES HE WORD THIS. ...Honesty. Honesty, he supposes, is working... decently.]
I thought I was going to die. I could go off and betray the Project Head, get in my last attempt, be killed once and for all... I wouldn't have to be the Chosen One anymore. My sister would get the title, hell, the world would probably be better off, I wouldn't go through with any of those bad ideas I had back at home... [He trails off. It makes sense, right? He just said it to get it off his chest. He didn't mean to press Jack with obligation to respond to it (even if he is questioning him now, isn't he? he's just so needy, he knows, he's curious and lonely and is that so wrong...)]
I was just trying to... run away, I guess. You don't have to worry about me.
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[He sits, and he listens, as Zelos sets down the surprisingly honest confession. Never had a relationship...Jack's not entirely sure whether to feel surprised about that or not. Because Zelos does command the fluid ease and confidence of a guy that gets around, no doubt about it--but then again, that isn't exactly the same thing anyway, now is it...? So Zelos confirms himself, moments after the fact, and Jack flicks a glance sideways at him as he then goes on to say that fragmented bit, and press a hand to his face...]
[He goes on to say that last bit, and Jack turns his head to get a well and proper look at him, with a very real frown now in place. Because it does click, now, and it does make a bit more sense, but--geez--]
...That's gotta be one of the most terrible plans I've ever heard of. And I've heard a lot of really bad plans. [So the words finally rise up, at length, and if there's a fleck of reprimand in there, well--maybe that's not entirely incidental.] The world would not be better off, and your sister--
[A bit of a break, then, as he glances away and stares down at the staff across his knees again, for a moment.]
--That's a terrible thing to do to your sister. Don't do that to your sister.
[And his hands tighten around his staff, and there's a certain sort of tightness to his voice, right there--]
[But no, now's not the time to let his own feelings seep into something that's still not--really any of his business. And he almost regrets saying that already, but that had been past memories speaking out, centuries spent defending the happiness of small children of the elder-and-younger sibling variety and otherwise, and the poignant image of feeling the ground crack, fall away, with his one last sight being the look on her face--]
[It's just a moment's pause--an inhale and an exhale--and with that, the tenseness drains away. Another moment, and then Jack leans over very slightly, just enough to bump a shoulder with the latter and simply leave it at that for now. Because he feels like it, and he'd always wondered what it might be like, seeing other people do it.]
[...It's warm. The kind of warm that stays and sinks, and doesn't pass through and ring hollow. And now his own eyes are set forward, looking at nothing in particular.]
Doesn't matter anyway, I guess. Tried to run away all you could, but here you are now. S'what really counts in the end, doesn't it?
[He's quiet again for a few moments, after that.]
I just...it's kind of crazy. Well, to me. I've--gone around for a long time, and it's everywhere, always, doesn't matter what might be going on or how bad things are. ...There's always been people together. But a guy like me, though...I. Figured it'd be something I'd never reach, y'know? So I never...
[He trails off, then. Because the words run out, and finding the rest of them is still more harder than not, all things considered...but if Zelos is going to put in the effort for this, Jack figures he might as well too.]
[Easier said than done, but well.]
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But he holds it back just for a moment, because suddenly the cold presence next to him is now leaning against him, shoulder to shoulder, and the chill that runs through him is nothing unpleasant at all. Even as he stiffens in the surprise of it, glances down at his own lap, awkwardly still before he relaxes a bit himself and leaves it at that as well.
Physical contact at all from this guy is something he had certainly noticed wasn't just passed out. Wasn't anything he even seemed used to.
The cold feels nice in contrast to his own warmth. A refreshing reminder that he is here, after all. Sitting next to Jack. Not dead, and... still human, at the end of it all. Maybe it's not so bad.]
You're too modest. [Simply, he replies like that, thinking. Clearly Jack had some issues with not being seen for years on years, and Zelos feels that in a backwards sort of way he can relate. Being known by everyone in title and title alone, all these expectations and responsibilities and nothing personal at all... It's strange how things can compare.
But all of that aside... Jack's a great guy. One always trying to do the right thing, helping out others, making things better for others, putting the worries of himself aside-- Zelos has noticed all of that. Who couldn't? He's not the corny type to exactly list all of these things off in succession or anything, but that doesn't mean he can't mention it vaguely like this.] Even barely knowing what you've been through, seeing the things you do and the way you care about people... [Not to mention all of the more personal areas he'd hit.] You're amazing.
[WELL NOW that was the corniest thing he'd said in a while, but he says it so casually he can make it look... simple and true.
And just like that, he's moving on back to the old, first topic. Finally looking up from his lap and to Jack next to him.]
I'm not like that. I could never be like that. [Even now he can't help the way his mind flashes back to that time. Being young, playing in the snow-- the rush of red and the look on his mother's face as she fell and grabbed him. The feelings in his stomach as she told him how worthless he was.
The look of Seles' mother after that, before she was executed. She had wanted him dead.
And so maybe emotion slips through a bit more as he tries to emphasize this.]
You don't understand how my entire life has ruined my sister's. She hates me. [She has to...] She should have been the Chosen.
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[For anybody else there would have been some preening, be it of the genuine or framed variety, but here, in a conversation like this, plied in a comparison like that...]
I don't know about that. [Eyes roam harriedly over the sparse appliances of the clinic room, and then back over to Zelos again, as if searching out a diversion's just more trouble than it's worth. And besides--] And you don't know about that either. Not for sure. You tend to talk yourself up a lot...but you just don't think very highly of yourself at all, huh?
Have you ever figured maybe some people do think highly of you?
[There, the result of doing his own brand of observation over the weeks they've known each other on this ship; a result that Jack might have never verbalized normally, might have never really arrived at as a certain conclusion himself, except now the evidence really does come together, after the conversation they've had here.]
[And he's almost positive that Zelos doesn't figure that, not in the least. Which is something of a shame in itself, really...someone able to read other people so well even despite, and would go so far as to overcome temptation in favor of sticking it out for his friends, even to such a bitter end as a fight with the Project Head himself--Zelos is a genuinely decent guy, as far as Jack's concerned, and that's truthfully something that doesn't exactly come a dime a dozen.]
[But unlike Zelos, he's not so good at figuring out how to actually say something like that--has never had the experience for it, corny or no--and so the rest of that goes unspoken, and the can only hope that last sentence goes over as he wanted it to; that Zelos could catch the implication of it.]
[And now they're shifting back to the first topic, again--which is less startling, but no less unhappy in its own way, and Jack's smile fades promptly alongside it.]
[Because man, but it really is difficult not to project onto this somehow...and Zelos's actual words on the subject don't help things any. Hates...siblings sometimes do say that, and Jack's not so naive as to think that a relationship like that would never arise, and yet something in him still rebels against the idea, when it's put in relation to Zelos himself. Because, as far as Jack's concerned, it still just doesn't make--sense--]
--Is she older or younger than you? [It's an abrupt and intent question, when it finally comes out at length.]
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But he finds himself thinking on it a bit longer all the same, a drawn out argument in his head as he leans towards Jack just enough to give something of a playful shoulder nudge in return. Hm.]
What ever gave you that idea? The Great Zelos Wilder, envied by all for his looks, wealth and status of Chosen...
[Ah, but the way he says it is all so clear. So his self esteem issues really shone through like that? How embarrassing. Of course he's going to deny it. Deny it and jokingly talk himself up, all while pointedly addressing the things that he's sure people do envy about him. The things that don't matter at all.
But he wants that to drop, and so after his joking passes, he'll readily answer the question about Seles.]
Younger. She's 15.
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JACK YOU UNLEASHED FEELINGS now look what happens
SCREAMS YES WELL Zelos you've unleashed an awful wave of tl;dr SO THAT EVENS THINGS I SUPPOSE.....
OH BOY
oh god and now we're in full-out hideous territory I suppose ENDLESS SILENT SHRIEKING......
SO HIDEOUS BUT SO PERFECT oh my god and just thinking a nonbeliever I CAN'T FDJLSGDFLSGdfsg
"uh zelos pls stop making out with the wall....." also THAT ICON FFFF
"GIVE ME AND THE WALL SOME PRIVACY INSTEAD" and ikr I have no icons for these things so you get that
hahaha and i have none...either...IMPROVISATION ERRWHERE
huehuehuehuehuehuehue yes yes good
/flails words around wildly idk FACE IN HANDS.....
they're coming out beautifully don't you worry /GRABS FACE WHILE READING THIS
WELL IF YOU SAY SO we can both mutually clutch our faces forever...!
this sounds like the best plan to me!! screams at zelos forever
WOW ZELOS......
h e h
/SLIDES IN HERE MOST BELATEDLY and also breaks this post's hideously-timed 69 comments AH WELL......
GOODBYE 69 COMMENTS YOU WERE AMUSING WHILE YOU LASTED
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1/2
2/2 shakes head
creys into drink tbh
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